For shame. I haven't bothered with this corner of my world for while. I needed to come back and spruce things up a bit. Clean out the cobwebs, dust the shelves and whats more be inviting. I have become a full fledged momma now. I have embraced the fact my children will be my siblings and their kids. I have also embraced the fact that I might not ever get to bear my own children. Pessimistic as it may sound, its what proves to be my cross to bear. I was talking to my cousin brother the other day; see he feels he needs to talk to me to reassure himself that I am within my full mental faculties. He asked me how my children were, and I politely told him to piss off, my children haven't been born. Then we talked some more, in which time he spoke of how I do what most women and half the men can't do. As a final note he told me that the probability of a man to actually take me as a wife and therefore sign his life to bear my burdens would be slim. Por que? you may ask. Simply put my cuz told me I have too much baggage for a man to want to be with me. The nerve! I chided him that perhaps men weren't made as they used to be anymore. Touche!
Anyway, back to my spring cleaning. My mom is somewhere in Somalia at the moment. I fret over her. I am not sure how she is some days. My friends and family call to tell me news from Somalia everyday. Their concern for my mother and her well being is touching but at times I just wish they would keep their news to themselves. I also worry about my nephews living there. I plead with my mom when she calls to find them and return them back to the US but she adamantly refuses, citing that its unsafe for her to go to the enemies camp. With these thoughts in my head I had some extra time on Wednesday afternoon between work and school. All this energy and nowhere to channel them. I tried reading but no go, so I did the next best thing. I walked into the kitchen. I haven't cooked for weeks due to my schedule. I looked in the refrigerator and found some tilapia, coconut milk, tamarind and vegetables. I usually don't have a specific meal planned out, I go with my instincts. I boiled some water & dumped fettuccine in there. I chopped some tomatoes, marinated the tilapia in a sweet/spicy concoction I make and soaked my tamarind. Slowly my meal took shape. I ended up making fettuccine pasta, honey glazed tilapia, grilled potatoes with green/red peppers and raisins, mchuzi wa samaki wa kupaka and coleslaw salad with my own dressing. I spent an hour and half in the kitchen and when I was done I felt accomplished. My children were about to come home from school. I had just enough time to clean the kitchen and lay the table. Then my phone rung, It was one of my kids wanting a ride. I was back to the chaos that is my life and my couple hours as an accomplished chef was a dissipating dream quickly fading.
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