Children

A child is a precious thing. A child vies for your attention, seeks your guidance and is blessed with the sweet innocence we all envy. Looking back in your childhood there are many occasions you recall; the first present you got, your mom hugging you for the tiniest things you did, your dad's heartfelt advice after a stern telling off! Do our parents shape our understanding of life and ultimately the character of self we portray to the world?

During one of my readings I came across an article that highlighted that genes might be behind the personalities we exhibit. Dr Weis and his colleagues discovered, in one of the longest and most thorough studies of child development ever attempted, was that parents appear to have relatively little effect on how children turn out, once genetic influences are accounted for. "The original objective was to look for environmental differences," says Reiss. "We didn't find many." Instead, it seems that genetic influences are largely responsible for how "adjusted" kids are: how well they do in school, how they get along with their peers, whether they engage in dangerous or delinquent behavior.

Apparently your DNA codes for a unique nervous system that responds to particular situations differently. As children we pick and choose the one that best suits our geriotype. Anyway long story short our genes provide the words and parenting provides the punctuation, inflection, tone and emphasis. Surrounding your child's environment with books when he seems predisposed to reading is a conversation between environment and genes. The parent then acts in the capacity of collaborator.

This is interesting to me because I think the youth have much impact in society and if we start them off on a good footing then we are better off as a society.

Tribute to my father

Abo I have much to say to you. Last time I saw you tears were streaming down that weather-beaten, kind face of yours. You asked for my forgiveness and told me to take care of everyone. I didn't understand why you were leaving me. I didn't understand what I did to make you run. All I knew was that I was alone in this world.

Since then I shut you out of my life. When you made contact I refused to feel again. I fought with the whys and what ifs. I had to be strong when the others were around, but all alone in my bed I cried myself to sleep. I hated you and I never wanted to see you again. I blamed you everytime hooyo screamed at the children and I cussed at the world for being cruel. Why me? Why them? Why her? Why us?

Now I have come to understand that your deeds were for your survival. If you hadn't left I am told that you would have died. I pray that you are well. I pray that you found peace wherever you might be. I also pray that you know deep in your heart that we all still love you. You are our father and our rock. When I fell, you were there to pick me up and send me on my way with whispers of encouragement. You have equipped me well for this life and for that I want to thank you. I want you to know that I will take care of the family as much as I can. I will take your place at the hilt of this ship and steer it to calmer seas. All I want is for time to rewind and for me to take back the hurtful things I said to you. I want time to rewind for me to wipe the tears off your face and send you off with a kiss and a hug. Alas I can't and all I am left with is regrets. Be well my darling father and rest easy for your daughter is right back where she belongs;by your side.

No more Mr NiceGuy

I am sick and tired of this mentality I have. No more I want it gone from me at once. Can someone perform an exorcism??

I am too nice to people I let them walk all over me and 9/10 the people tend to be nice back. But that 1/10 get my blood boiling enough to make me want to blow my top. I would caution you to step back because it might not be pretty to watch.

**Breathing in and out slowly............chanting B calm find your center**

Ok I feel better now. I have being unwell for the past three days and have basically thought of others before me. I kept my viral infected self out of healthy people's way. A lot of good that did me. My roomate decides to go into a mood swing for the past two weeks!!! Two weeks? Are you Fing kidding me. What kinda hormones does your flipping body produce. Anyway she won't talk to me for some reason or rather. I tried to garner what pissed her off but she chooses the silent treatment. I can't be bothered to milk it out of her I ain't her mommy she can brood in her cesspool by herself and I frankly don't care.

Everytime this happens I remember the things I did to help the person causing this precious loss of energy to be dispensed from my body. I helped this girl to the point she cried on my shoulder literally and slobbered and left reminants of snot all over my jammies. SERIOUSLY .........I lent her my car to the point she bursted in my room in the early mornings demanding my car keys to ran her errands. Does she know that she is piling mileage on my dear baby? During Ramadhan I made her spinach samosa especially for her since she is a vegan and guess what next night she asked me where her samosas are? Do I resemble Aunt Jemima or something? What irks me the most is I thought I was helping a sister out and wankaxishode to tell her she is over stepping my kindness. NO MORE. I am taking a stand.

I noticed for most immigrants they have this ingrained in their character. The need to be kind and please people around them or maybe its the people I have met I don't care, its just there. These bloody North Americans don't understand that it is not an invitation to trample into our lives at their every whim. NO MORE. I am going to start saying NO. NO to helping your ass out when you are stranded in a street because for some reason or rather you pissed off the bus driver again. No to taking you to work because you couldn't get your lazy a$$ up at the correct time and yes I AM LOCKING my room...........darn it I need my SLEEP. I am already a chronic insomniac I don't need to lose those precious 50 mins of SLEEP.

Phew off course I probably won't stick to this new trait but whatthewho I am human :)

Detrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroit Basketball

Nuff said. Season high 6-0 wins. I have high hopes for my boys this year. Last time we lost the cup by mere inches but if this is how the season is shaping up, I say bring it on. Suns, Spurs and my next favourite team this year, the Cavaliers, have nothing on this team. Defense/Rebounds/Three pointers/On the paint points/ or as we like to call it Detroiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit basketball.

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Institution or Institutional Madness

Ever wonder what a shut out is? What it feels like?

We live in a society where we have shut outs. They are so intergrated into the system that we barely notice them let alone acknowledge them. I want to concentrate on one shut out. The one I wish to candidly speak about and is close to my heart is the shut out the smart people enforce and the ordinary live by. Case in point the famed SOL.

Its a website for nomads. The first thing you notice when you log into the site is the number of people signed on during the night hours. The other is the division of content.

1st Division:- We have the Camel Milk Debate. Its subtext boasts of intellectually social debates. Make no mistake you enter this section at your own risk. The members who post here speak of evolution, natural progression, nationalism, world politics, ethics etc. The range of topics is expansive but more to the point is the tone of voice in each piece. Personally and I have remarked this on occasions I feel like I am reading a dissertation. My mind tries to grasp what the person's point is but finally it gives up. Maybe I am just lazy or my brain is fatigued but I feel inferior when I venture into this section. I remember the first lesson I learned in English composition. Write for a range of audience, do not insult their intelligence yet inform them at the same time. Guess this rule goes out the window here.

2nd Division:- Here we have the women section. Why the separation? Are there somethings in this section that are not meant for the male eyes? Personally I believe that both sexes have a lot to share with each other. Segregation of a certain section of the website to female orientated subjects doesn't sit well with me. There are many things that we as Somalis hold as taboo and would not discuss in mixed company due to xayat reasons. Case in point FGM and virginity. A society is compromised of males, females, young, old, rich, poor ...........thus shouldn't we all be given a chance to be heard in an equal setting if the end goal is information and education?

I am going to stop dissecting each section because I haven't got the time right now. I will wrap up my point by saying that SOL started out as a website that was a break from the childish talk. A place where one felt among their peers and would benefit from others leading overall to a better community . I am sad to say that for me SOL has not fulfilled this goal. I usually feel like there is a competition when you read the posts. People are so bent on sounding smart and knowledgeable that they leave a good number of us uninformed. By the time I sift through the superficial layers and looking up works and books of people, I have lost interest and track of the read. I close the page and go back to reading my books. It might seem that I might be daft or slow or intellectually challenged but I can hold my own in an argument, I just do it in a professional and undaunting way. I lull my subjects to a sense of equality. I bring them to my level of thought progressively almost like teaching a child to take their first steps. I let go of their hands and Lo and behold they take their first steps without assistance. The first steps into a society of forward progression and not of Instituitionalization.

I yield my pen to you

Welcome

Isn't he adorable? That is my new nephew and I am totally taken with him. Everytime my sister has a baby I get this ache in my stomach. I wish they were mine. I am not sure if it happens to every woman but I can't help it and always without fail I ask to adopt my nephews and niece. As clockwork she smiles and tells me to get my own.


I don't think thats fair. I am not the giving birth kind. How would I know you ask? Well because I have a low threshold for pain and I am a creature of comfort. If I couldn't fit in my clothes or tie my shoelaces I would probably tear my hair out. One look at this darling though makes me rethink my stance. I want to have a little one to call my own. One to nuzzle near my nose each time I feel the need to. I so want one .........they should sell them. Anyway I guess I should wait till I get someone to hoodwink me into having a bundle of joy for myself. Till then I will continue to ask my sister for her kids.

I love you my little one and you stole my heart the instance you opened your eyes.

Sitting on the Couch

The spotlight is on the lady with the huge turban on her head. My mom explains that is the new African head-dress. The lady in question is the Assistant Minister of Culture or something or rather of the newly formed government of Somalia. I watch with my mom and my cousin as the ministers and officials get on stage one by one to speak their piece. My heart is silently hoping that this is a turn for the future.

"There he is!" exclaims my mom, "There is abti Abdillahi Yussuf." She is proud as she also points herself out to me. She goes on a tangent as she points out each member of the cabinet and their clan affiliations. She was proving to my cousin that there was representation of most clans in the new government. As I sit on the couch I feel proud of the people on stage. A silent prayer goes to them as they set out to correct the many wrongs we as a people/nation have committed unto ourselves. I am not sure where I lie on this spectrum but I know where my mother lies.

I wasn't brought up in Somalia nor were my parents big on giving me the identity of my "bloodline". When I moved to the West I got bombarded with questions of "Who are you?". My reply turned from saying I was a Somali to Sujui to finally saying curtly "I am human." I went through a change and understanding as to how the system works. Somalis were obsessed with clan lines and migrated with this disease to the west. I found that I didn't want any part in it and I used the line human to draw them into an argument. To make them state their case as to why my identity should affect the conversation at hand.

There are some people that are not sure where this new government is heading but I believe a journey begins with a step and this is a huge step in the direction of the future. The one thing, the only ingredient missing is the youth. "Hooyo, you should get the youth involved, have workshops or something."I said with a smile. She looked at me and nodded. For now I will live vicariously through my mom when it comes to Somali politics.

There was a woman whose child had grown and wanted to make a mark in the world. As he bid his mother goodbye she stated "Son, If you go to **insert a far town** or go to the ends of the earth I am still your mother. No matter where we migrated to our Motherland is still Somalia.