I wish I could throw a fit!

As a child it is so much easier to get what you want. You throw a tantrum and if all goes well the adult will get tired of shushing you and giving you time outs and hand you your heart's desire. As an adult it is much difficult to get what you want especially if its something you cannot/aren't supposed to have. What do you do then to quench your heart's desire?

Oh lawd give me strength :)

Eid Mubarak Ya Muslimin

This is probably the last day before Eid. Inshallah I hope we have all reaped the benefits of this blessed month. There are a couple reminders though. One, Inshallah is that whatever you were doing in Ramadhan that was good that you continue in the same fashion after Ramadhan. The other is that we remember to fast the first 6 days of Shawwal. This holds great rewards.

Here are a couple duas to say leading up to Eid-ul-Fitr:

Before last Iftar:

Oh Allah, please accept all of my prayers, fasting, and remembrance of You during this blessed month.Please forgive me for the shortcomings in my worship and help me improve by next Ramadan.Ya Allah, help me continue the good habits I have acquired during Ramadan.Oh Allah, please make me of the righteous, the guided, and those You love.Ya Allah, please guide me and my family to the Straight Path and help us become excellent Muslims for Your sake.I worship only You and only from You do I seek help. Please increase Your bounty for me.

For EID:

Ya Allah, open our hearts towards our neighbors.Ya Allah, open the hearts of our neighbors towards us.Ya Allah, unite the Muslims in the USA and the world to serve Allah's creation to please Him.Ya Allah, give Sabr (patience) and freedom to the innocent prisoners and guide those who are at fault.Ya Allah, You take care of the oppressed. Please help the oppressed in Palestine, Kashmir, Afghanistan, Iraq, India, Chechnya, Somalia and other parts of the world.Ya Allah, guide oppressors to the right path and move the hearts of extremists from the harmful path.Ya Allah, give wisdom to our leaders; accept their sacrifice; bless them with more courage.

I pray that we all have a wonderful Eid in an Islamic fashion.

Image source

Thought of the day

I saw this and thought to myself how times have changed. I miss the days when my mom asked me where I came from when I strolled in, not that I came home at odd hours, its just that I had a guilty look. I remember once during winter, I walked in with chapped lips that I had been licking all day and my mom thought I had been snogging some poor fella. I had to give her a good 15 mins explaination as to why my lips looked red and irritated.

Now that I have proved myself to be a miskiin she doesn't check up on me as she used to. At times she even gives me a wide berth making me feel guilty when I arrive home anytime after midnight. Cherish those moments gals (I can't believe I am saying that) for when your momma stops asking you where you have been it means its time for you to get hitched to a band-wagon.

My book of rhymes

I luv Nas. I am by no means anything as creative as he is or MOS DEF/TALIB/BLACK ICE/TAALAM etc but I can string a few sentences together. Here are a few of these so called sentences from my book of rhymes.

Forever in turmoil

pursuant of your affection

residing in eternal

limbo awaiting

anticipating your every need

Forever yours

never my own

searching faithfully

for my love

for our love

Forever looking

hoping to find

a mirror that will

reflect the truth

of you and I

Forever mine

yours no more

alas, I have

always known

it was all for

naught.

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Hear me

and allow me to become your resounding board

allow me to strum the strings that used to be us

found between then and now

allow me then to relive the sweet sorrow

Listen to me

and allow my voice to reverb within your soul

as I beat out my agony on your drums

hoping you understand that

I am but a dancer without a soul

a writer without a scroll

an orchestra without a horn

Listen to me

as I beat out life's rhythms with my shackles

hear as the bass merges with the treble

as the blood adds to the sound

as the beats rise and fall.

Silence

as you finally hear that

all I want is to be free.

This was a piece written after reading another person's poem.

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Do we ever cross paths in a different life

Do you recognize me then

or can I form a new identity

one which will mirror your desires

mingle with your flesh

dance with your soul

and sleep in your warmth.

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Like a lotus in a swamp

a beautiful friend is a find

You dry my tears with your words

and set me on my way with your charm

I love your big graceful hands

thats guide me through rain or sun

I am forever glad to have found the one

who'll be there even when I am down.

Listening to Arias

I have spent all day listening to Arias because I can and its the only time that my mind finds peace. Most of my fam and friends think I am an odd ball whenever I go to catch my fav opera at the local house. I think if I lived in New York I would probably be broke from buying tickets all the time. I remember when I went to Sydney, my delight at being in THE FAMED OPERA HOUSE and sitting in my chair. It was like a dream come true. I can't wait for next season because there are a couple shows I want to catch, like Strauss' Salome and Puccini's La Boheme. For now here is a sample of one of those arias that people know but don't recognize as being part of Rossini's The Barber of Seville.