Monday, October 26, 2009

Dream State

It was the first time my grandma was going to sit behind the wheels of a 400 horsepower engine equipped with a nitro tank. I questioned my decision but then I looked into her age lined face and I knew it was too late to back out now. The engine roared to life and off we went. She gripped the wheel tightly in her hands as she stared unblinkingly at the road ahead of her. We came to our first major intersection and I held on to my seat as I instructed her on merging techniques. I was starting to breath normally by the time we got to the fifth intersection. This one included a set of train tracks for the local tram. It was a six point intersection with traffic flowing in 12 different directions. I needed her to take the road leading into the tunnel. I explained that she needed to keep her eye on the road she needed and forget all the other roads. It was difficult for even an experienced driver to maneuver this intersection. The light turned green and off she went.

The car careened as she twisted the steering wheel to face the intersection she needed. My soul was left behind as her foot didn't ease off the accelerator. My hand grabbed the steering wheel as I yelled for her to slow down. I twisted it this way and that barely missing cars that were making their way unto the expressway ahead. I looked up in horror as I saw the red unblinking light of traffic jammed cars. I told my grandmother we are going to die. I held her head to my chest as my POV shifted from my body to my soul.

I watched from above my body as the car lost control and collided with the cement piers holding the flyover above the road. I watched as cracks begun to appear. I watched as the first pieces of cement begun to disintegrate and rain down on my car. I watched as I felt my body shutting down its function. My soul felt released and uninhibited.

I was emerging from a pool of water. There was a man standing by a set of clothes and he smiled as he looked at me. I felt more than saw my grandmother emerge from the water. I have been here before. Last time I was sent back. I looked at the broad shouldered man as he patiently waited for me. I opened my mouth to ask if I was dead. He smiled at me again. "Leyla! Leyla," came my mother's voice. She was on the other side of the pool. She looked confused as she beckoned me to the edge. " I am not of the living mama, " I told her. My eyes were swimming in tears as I knew this time I was not going to see her again. My mother shook her head at me. She looked past me to the man at the edge of the pool. Her face crumpled as its dawned on her that I wasn't coming towards her, I was making my way to the man. My heart was gripped in fear and I cried in agony knowing what awaits me. I never looked back to my mother but I heard her pitiful cries and invocations of the Lord's name. The man placed the garment around my body as he once again smiled at me.

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I dreamt this last night and awoke with my eyes flush with tears. The image is so vivid that I had to write it down because it is rare that I dream and far more rare that I can remember the details.

8 comments:

Om said...

How do you manage to remember your dreams? For some reason I cannot ever remember any of my dreams as of late. Until recently I could remember my dreams quite well, both the good and the bad, but that is getting harder these days. Any technique that you use that you can part with me?

I can remember the dreams I have during naps, though.

Ojay said...

I too remember my dreams after naps. Specially ones taken after an afternoon quickie.

Dreams can be remembered if they were vivid. Most of my dreams are a gobbledygook of fast moving events but some are of people I've known on different continents at different stages of my life having cocktails together and gossiping about me.

Never did die in my dreams though. SD, you breathin' out there?

SleepDepraved said...

Om, I rarely dream so most of the dreams I have tend to be very detailed. The best trick is to keep a pad of paper near your bedside and when you are in the middle of the your dream state and you realize you are in a dream, get up and write out whatever you remember. Off course your handwriting would probably be horendous.

Ojay TMI my friend lol. I am breathing alhamdullilah. Why would your acquitances be gossiping about you?

Ojay said...
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isseh said...

Vivid and disturbing. I use to have such dream vivid dreams (and still do) but what I hated most? I'd rather not say. Scary stuff.

So SD, what do you make of this dream?

SleepDepraved said...

I am not sure what to make of the dream isseh. Its a dream and perhaps nothing more than that. Allahu ya3lam.

Aya's Den said...

SD, that was gruesome and gut wrenching. Those kinds of dreams scary me so much :( Glad you and your grandmother are nowhere near cement and water.

SleepDepraved said...

Aya yea me too I told my grandma and since then she bugs me about learning to drive lol