Fragility to rememberance

It had been six weeks since it happened. Salwa smiled begrudgingly at the couple infront of her walking away from the mosque. Her marriage was supposed to happen SIX weeks ago but didn't. She had been duped. There was no marriage forthcoming nor any compensation for the time and energy dispensed at the failed transaction. Did it really boil down to the tick tock of the clock? she questioned. There was no other explaination. Opening her car door, Salwa started the engine. She fiddled around with her dials till she found the Islamic lecture she was looking for. Salwa tried in vain to focus her attention on the material but pretty soon she was back in the pity zone manning the goalpost. Her mind took a topographically picture of her failed engagement as she zoomed in on what she thought was the bend of the river, the slight curve of the foothills, the tiny speck that she didn't see when it was most vital.

**phone ringing**
[Salwa] hey lil mama (trying for cheery)
[Tania] heeeeeeeeeey girl. U ok?
[S] course I am heifer, what you think? I was gonna lie down and die?
[T] nah, I ain't said that but for reals your voice is wavering.
[S] I can't help it, it hurts even though it shouldn't
[T] Bullshit. Let yourself go through the emotional rollercoaster, you need it to get him out of your system
[S] I can't T, I wasted 4 years of my life on this.
[T] We can go over and do some body damage girl! Give me 10 mins with him and I promise he won't do nothing like this to a woman again let alone think it.
[S] He is not worth it T. He used to be the apple of my eye but now he is not worth it. I guess there is a thin line between love and hate.
[T] Go ahead girl, let it out.
[S] Anyway, much ado about nothing. What's g'waning?
[T] Nothin, just chillin...........can't seem to walk down the street without a bitch hollering at me.
[S] **giggles** I done told you before. Its the way you switch dem hips girl.
[T] Whateva yo! Punk azz men who needs them.
[S] You know ima argue with you on that point even thou I should b a man hater right about now.
[T] Youze a strong bitch. No way, no how when I broke up with Jeremy was I able to talk like this in 6 weeks. I was still crying into my cereal.
[S] God giveth, God taketh away girl. Plus he got his coming on this earth and heaven cause you have got to be evil to do what he did. I still can't believe he did it.
[T] I still think he was cheating on you. I don't care what he said. I just don't think a man gonna come off a rejected proposal and get married a week later. I mean WTF? Who does that?
[S] God knows T. I got to get up outta here cause I got to write me a paper for class.
[T] Aight girl. Call me anytime.
[S] I will. Take care of you.
[T] Take care of you too.

Salwa set the phone on her lap as she grabbed the steering wheel. A wave of grief came over her body and sure enough tears started streaming down her face. She regarded the now dark house of God and wished she was inside that cocoon. Salwa knew she did everything right in regards to Khalid and her. Her mother had said no because she was convinced Khalid didn't have her best interest at heart. Salwa had prayed and fasted all through that period asking God to intervene and he had. God had intervened by completely changing the font of the script, thats what everyone told her. She also heard the usual " you are too good for him". It wasn't enough, Salwa's heart still couldn't understand what went wrong and why so late. The long stretch of time they knew each other he could have stopped it at anytime but he didn't. He strung her along and when all was finalized with the parents is when Khalid decided to pull the rug from under her feet. She was disgraced. How was she going to face her family? Most of them were already asking her when the wedding date was. Salwa wrung the steering wheel some more. She gazed at the door of the masjid and finally got out of the car. She slid her key into the lock and set her things on the corner. Grabbing the Quran, she sat crosslegged by the mimbar and let the words from the Quran envelop her being. It was the only place she felt at peace at this moment.