" You are so crazy!" I exclaimed uproariously to my friends. Kamar, Kay and I were fighting our way through the bustling mob at the Dayton's thirteen hour sale. We really didn't need any more clothes in our closet but at that moment we didn't particularly care about that detail. Swinging around so as to maintain our conversation I bumped into someone who shoved me backwards. Biting back my retort I faced my assailant. It was a short petite girl with cropped hair and a scowl to boot. She was wearing a mall security uniform and I guess this was a reason her chest was puffed out in an authoritative stance. Not wanting to cause a scene I side stepped her with my friends close by. Each step I took in a different direction this pesky girl kept standing in my path. Finally I curtly asked her if I could get on with my shopping without paying troll tax. My friends gleeful laugh was loud and I had hoped had passed her the message that I wasn't here alone.
" I would like you to come with me to the security office, MAAM," she said while expanding her chest more than I thought possible for a person of such short stature. Rolling my eyes I followed her to the corner of the store. She ushered me in a room and raising her hands she stopped my friends from coming in behind me. With my hands crossed in front of me I glared at her demanding to know why I was being bothered while I was shopping. Smiling vaguely she asked me to empty my hand bag. Wanting to prove her wrong I did what she asked. Imagine my surprise when out of my bag popped out two ornament pins I was eyeing earlier in the store. Stammering and stuttering I tried to explain that I wasn't a thief and didn't know how the items got into my bag, how I would pay for the items just to make this incident disappear while the short girl just looked at me with steel in her eyes.
"Strip!" she demanded. I was shell shocked. What did she mean strip? was she serious. Her hands akimbo she beckoned with her head that she was waiting. Not sure if this will prove my innocence but eager to leave the store at any cost, I pulled at my sleeves. The girl was staring at me with interest. I couldn't help feeling my skin crawl. Down to nothing but my skivvies I held up my hands in mock surrender. " Take off the bra and the panties too." she uttered unbelievingly. Looking at her like she just sprouted another head on her shoulder I questioned if I heard her request right. This little woman was expecting me to stand before her naked!!! I had tolerated this charade long enough, pushing her aside I walked out of the room. My friends gawked at me as I furiously said I was never going to shop at this store ever again. I had walked halfway through the shoe department when I realized that I was walking around the store in my underwear. Holding my head high I walked right out the store and ducked into the mall bathroom next door. I was forever mortified!