Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Un, Deux, Trois.........

Here I go again. Its not the first time I have been here. The view is still the same. The same blurry lines, the same dull color, the same vernacular sounds. Its surprising that the whole world has advanced forward but this corner of my universe seems stuck. My lips pursue in thought. It really isn't as bad I thought, I console myself. I can handle this. I have been through worse, much worse. I pick up the object in front of me; my youth. Its fading fast. No more bright colors emanating from it, no more joyful giggles and goofy smiles. Time does fly and all I am left with is memories. Refusing to succumb to the self pity that I knew so well, I moved on. Next was my vocation. I picked it up and stared at the awards and congrats from it. Really, is that all I amount to? How about the sweat and blood hours I poured into being perfect at what I do? Does that not count for anything but placards of wood? I threw it across the room, my eyes flashing at the idiocracy my life is. I picked up a withered flower next. I had neglected this flower for a long time. Refusing to water it or even add manure so that it can mature into a beautiful flower that it is. The bees didn't find it particularly alluring and all the seeds in the ovum had given up on being pollinated. It was a sad case and I was the guilty party. I knelt by the flower and frailly touched the petals. This was my love life. The culmination of my world was within these objects scattered around this odd looking room. When I get the urge to make a change in my life, I walk back into the room and perhaps it is there that I find the courage to do what I have to do.

4 comments:

Om said...

Welcome back, SD!

I hope you had a wonderful trip to Mama Africa, although we missed you in the blogsphere.

P.S. If strange men start to hit on you (about this post), call Chris Hanson of "Dateline."

Aya said...

SD,

It's great to see you back! Neither youth nor love would pass through the fingers of one as you so I'm wonderin' about the melancholy in your post.

SleepDepraved said...

Re-evalution of life perhaps. I dunno it always happens right before my b/day which is a few weeks away. So drastic measures are indeed in order!!

Adaa said...

I need a teacher to teach a once monthly Somali language class for beginners in Eden Prairie. Can you teach it? (Our existing teacher has another commitment, that's why I need to find a new one.) Please email me if interested: luuqadood@gmail.com