Sunday, December 03, 2006

Please Leave Your Senses at the Door

I do. I forego my senses everytime I walk into this room. Its not an ordinary room. The whole room is made up of mirrors and not just mirrors but mirrors of different properties. The mirrors make me see things I never usually pay close attention to, like the crinkle by lips that is getting deeper due to the increase in the number of forced smiles or the clearing up of my skin due to my use of proactive. Today, I walk to the center of the room and turn to stare at the different individuals looking back at me. They each take form. One is mad at the world. One is patient with the world. One is in love with the world. One is betrayed by the world. Each individual showcases their emotion clearly on their faces and bodies. They take on a form in their own entirety, shedding me in the process. I stand watching as each starts speaking. They have voices! Angry voices! Smart voices! Nice voices! Sweet voices! Loving voices! Crying voices! Sad voices! I struggle to understand them but their voices rise together like waves and crash with a roar upon my ears. Their emotions jump across the mirrors and envelop me, caressing me and touching me, begging me. I cringe yet its not out of disgust. I know what these emotions are. I have continually denied them in my life, always pushing them to the back of my mind and hoping they would stay there. I hug my arms to my body and kneel on the ground. I rock back and forth in the familiar motion of mother to a sleeping child. Pretty soon the roar subsides and when I look up the mirrors reflect only me.

14 comments:

wasmaniac said...

Which of the voices was loudest?

SleepDepraved said...

^^If they all merged and melted together what makes you think there was one that stood out?

Its a piece of writing in the heat of the moment. Think of it like a photograph, capturing the details but never providing the explaination.

Shafi Said said...

When i read this piece, The Picture of Dorian Gray automatically came to mind.

You are projecting your soul onto a mirror, letting it tarry there for a moment to see deep within it. Maybe you are going through a phase of self-development? or you are just plain confused! haha!

wasmaniac said...

If there is no voice that stood out, then it seams that u are a very evenly balanced person...which is a good thing.

Anonymous said...

SD, interesting look at multidimensional voices in our heads. Not to spook you or anything but mirrors have a strong presence in the history of darkness. The sinister corners of the psyche like paranoia, narcissism, and even demon possession have yielded themselves to a reflective surface. Hmm.

SleepDepraved said...

Shafi! How could you? Dorian was a sick man who was misguided. aS for me going through a reconstruction maybe so or maybe I am just blaza blaza balza like my friend says.

Wasmaniac evenly balanced?? No comment.......hehehe.

Aya Mirrors and me don't get along but for some reason when I want to have moments alone to reflect I go stand by a mirror. Its odd I never really thought about the darkness connection of it. Thanks for the titbit, might be a twist I can explore next time.

Firefly said...

WoW...it sounds like you had a very cathartic moment.

Did it help?

Anonymous said...

I really like how you write, that was just 'wow' (cant think of a better word)

Doubting Thomas said...

Quite disconcerting blog. I didn't get it at all. Not metaphorically, not allegorically, not in any sensible way. I'm gonna lay in the bathtub for 1/2 hour (my senses are always heightened after that, hazy thoughts crystallize... always!) and come back to make sense of what you're on about.

Abdallah said...

Doubting Thomas - It is sophisticated !

Anonymous said...

When reading the thoughts of my own struggle hit me. As everyone projects the environment in which they carry out self realization differently. A mirror is both good and bad. Why?
Firstly Bob Marley sang a song about running away from one's mistake trying to hide it, when one look into a mirror all that mistake needs to be confronted not escaped from.
Second, For centuries a habbit of looking into the mirror have created nacistic desire and caused disaster all over even to the one looking into it. For instance, barbie dolls/girls hooked to fashion today cannot go one hour without a mirror. And that is a disease most psychologist deny same as the denial of the concept that man needs to adapt to society not society needs to adapt to human nature causing what we have today. War for a capitalist state.

Thankz for writing such a wonderful piece, dwelling into it helps clarify alot of thoughts!

Anonymous said...

Let me take a guess; the last part was about Salat?

Ever The Idealist said...

You are one amazing woman Fepraved. May your minf always remain this intersting and sharp. Looking forward to more articles

SleepDepraved said...

Seems the writing can be seen through different lenses. Wicky lmao @ barbie dolls, we have evolved as humans to become both materialistic and superficial. Amazing feats if you ask me.

Om I wasn't infering Salat but I guess if you can read Salat into that then be my guest.

Ever The Idealist and Iman thanks for your kind words.

Firefly every little bit helps.

Doubting Thomas hope you don't come out of your bath all prune like. Soaking that long is not good for your skin.