Underneath your clothes

Underneath your clothes there is an endless story
There is a man I choose there is my territory
And all the things I deserve for being a good girl

I remember singing this song with my whole heart. I sort of believed in it. Naive as it may sound I think there is a woman who needs to be rescued in all of us. I finally decided to admit it to myself. Years of telling myself that I wasn't into the fairy tales and happy endings GONE. It feels good. It feels like I shed a coat that was matted to my skin. What now? I have no idea. I am going to play it by ear and see what life brings my way.

This year ends and a new one is being ushered in by the snow and the sleet. I am mesmerized by the pillowy effect it has on the land. I want to go and lay in it and make a snow angel. I want to laugh with the innocence of a child and twirl in a circle till I fall down dizzy. Where do we lose it? That pure feeling of happiness untarnished by the life. Keynaan mentions that it happens at birth with our first cry. Apparently the devil takes it upon himself to introduce pain to us ASAP. I am not sure I would agree all I know is that one moment you are a child and the next moment you become an adult.

There are many things I wish to address but now that I am writing I am not sure I want to talk about. They are boiling inside of me asking me to spew them for all to see but I swallow hard to keep them down. One day I am sure they will overcome my epiglotis. Who knows maybe I will feel the same way I feel in regards to the newfound vulnerable me. Maybe I will embrace it.

Blogging personality

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Reflections of '05

The year 2005 was fascinating in it of itself. Started out with me being drugged and grogy from vicodin. I had sustained a broken arm during a car accident four days before new years and one day after returning from England. I should have just taken that as an omen but nevertheless I worked through it. Went to school a month late and spent the rest of the semester playing catch up........No fun at all! Went through a depressive couple of months due to heartbreak after which as usual I picked up my steel cast heart and moved on.

Summer came around with plans of travelling across the US, but as they say man proposes God disposes. My parents split up with no warning and I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth. I worked through all summer trying to find some rhyme and reason to life. Had a couple people who woed me but I was not interested due to the LIFE SUXS motto I was going through. School year begun again and I was glad to shed off my responsibility and get back to my books.Tsunami hit and so did the earthquakes. Helped out with what I had and wished I could do more. Got to know a family that relocated here from New Orleans and tried to make them feel at home. Ramadhan was interesting. My roomate fasted with me during the month for support. Eid was spent at home where I went to let loose and also got to welcome my new nephew to the world. Weeks that followed were sputtered with news of a new revert at the mosque, learning french, blogging, posting and making new friends. Winter came early this year with hard biting cold to remind me I need to get to warmer areas. I had to go through a bout of bronchotis during my final month at school that cut into my school work, but hey what is so different about that. Finally discovered old fires were still burning and also a miracle migraine medication that worked in minutes. Finals week were stressful with family issues compounding my stress levels and that ladies and gentlemen was my year in a nutshell.Alxamdullilah I made it this far.


All I can say is I can't wait for next year. I am ready for more growing pains! Now to pass this tag to someone else. I tag Ngonge, Xu, Lonedreamer, Lambaar Kontoon, Muhammad, Abusinan, Pucca and the neighbourly doc. Hope to read your reflections for the year.

Afkii ba juuqda gabay

Naftaydaa kuu jiirbanoo
Waxay haysa jamashadaa
Adaan kuu jeellanahayoo
Jacayl baad igu abuurtay
Ma jiifsado cawadii
Dharaartii ma joogi karo
Dhinaca aad iga jirtaa
Qalbigu ii jiidayaa

Hayeeshee Jab bay horjooga
Jir baa igu helay bannaan
Jar baan ka lushaa khatara
Talaa iga jahawareersan

Jid aan u baxaanan hayn
Jahadii baa iga hallowday
Haddaan kuu jeedi laayoon
Jabka kuu sheegi laa
Awood baan jirin xaggaygoo
Afkii baa juuqda gabay.

Jirrada miyaad ila qabtaa
Miyaad jeer qur ah is tiri
Jalleeco kalgacal ku eeg
Adaa sida johoraddii oo
Jirrada adigaa sidee
Jawaab waafiya i siiyoo
Jaahaaga sidaan u rabo
Ma ii jirisaa

By Saado Cali

Can y'all hear me?

Sensitivity issues?

I hate to be one who said I told you so but yesterday I couldn't help but to. Previous post in my blog I talked about an issue in school and this time I will provide the entire story i.e Verbatim what exactly was said and to whom it was addressed. Bare with me.


Columnist opinion:
"When I write a column about something that people disagree with I expect to hear about it. This never bothers me. After all, I wouldn't write this column if I wasn't afraid of some banter. This happened last week when my angry rant against Halo 2 somehow ended up linked to a pretty highly visited Halo 2 website. Needless to say my popularity dropped pretty quickly. Anyway I had a couple random guys from different states add me to MSN messenger so they could do a little arguing with me. Thats all fine and dandy, until one of the pretentious bastards decided to basically tell me I know nothing because I'm from **insert my beloved hick town**. Hey, wait a minute. You can bash me all you want for my views on Halo 2, but you are playing with fire when you call me stupid and then link it to where I grew up. The problem is, this know-it-all is not alone. The citizens of State XYZ end up getting this ignorant hick stigma against them, simply from being from the Midwest.
What angers me the most is that its a form of widely accepted discrimination. Now, if I had said to that genius from Seattle (the pretentious bastard) that I thought all black people were "worthless piles of crap" that only commit crime, he would have let me have it. Off course I don't think that way, but I am sure I could find you some example to fit that description..............(written by R)

Rebuke from the black students:

" I agree it is incorrect to judge a persons intelligence based on where they're from. But to compare this to saying that all black people are "worthless piles of crap" who only commit crime just doesn't make sense at all. Then, to make matters worse, you say "Of course I don't think that way, but I'm sure I could find you some examples to fit that description." So, you're trying to tell me that you personally know some "worthless piles of crap" who only commit crime, but you don't believe that's all they do? Well when you come up with a good list, you let me know. What does insulting where a person grew up have to do with insulting an entire race? Nothing. It's a false analogy! In case you don't know what that is, I'll tell you. False analogies are comparisons between two situations that are not alike in most, or important, respects. I hope you see the point I'm trying to make." (Written by V)

"For R to "hypothetically stereotype" all black people is ignorant. For the editor of the **Name of Paper** to let her publish such a thing is equally ignorant. The statement in the column was inappropriate and unprofessional in the least bit. Undoubtedly, the individual in Seattle was bias towards small towns, but to match his ignorance reflects a lot about your own character. For you to lash out at black people as a whole and try to use race as if you were trying to prove a point is absolutely inappropriate. I was hurt by your statement "Now, if I had said that I thought all black people were worthless piles of crap that only commit crime." There isn't an "if" about it. YOU JUST SAID IT! According to you, black people have no worth and we are big piles of manure who do nothing but commit crimes. So all black people, including Rosa Parks, are criminals? But you didn't stop there. You could've been political about the situation. You could have used your journalistic instincts and rose above your own ignorance and shown some intelligence. But you said, "Of course, I don't think that way, but I'm sure I could find you some examples." YOU JUST CONTRADICTED YOURSELF IN ONE SENTENCE. "I really do think like that, but if I say that I don't, then it seems as if I don't." That is how it came across. Then you say, "I'm sure I can find someone if I look hard enough." So that means that you would have to go out a find someone that fits the bill, and it wouldn't be hard to do................................
Nevertheless, the article was very unprofessional, unfair and untrue. In my opinion, no discretion or common sense was used in the article. The comment you made was very disrespectful and without tact. If I may ask, what did writing such a derogatory statement toward African Americans accomplish? It further led me to agree with the man from Seattle. You absolutely have no clue what is going on in the world and not because you are from State XYZ, but because you are who you are. And yes, sorry to burst your bubble, but you might be the biggest hick in ..." (Written by M)


Apologies:

"I just want to clarify something before anybody kills me. In my last column, when I made the derogatory reference to black people, I did not mean it to be taken literally. The only thing I was trying to prove is how stupid it is to assume things like that. I wanted to use such an extreme example that nobody could possibly think I would believe that way. Evidently, I failed. When I said I could find an example of a black person that fit that description, I was just trying to prove that there are bad apples in ANY race and people should not judge the rest of the people in that group using the worst example. Much like calling all people from State XYZ dumb hicks because of meeting one hick from here. That's all I was trying to prove. I have no problem with any race, nor would I ever write anything that could be so purposely offensive and stupid. I apologize if I offended anyone. I just want to make very clear that my intentions with my column were not racist, but were to point out how mindless discrimination actually is." (Written by R)

"When running a paper, the editor has to choose what should be printed and how things should be worded. There is a fine line between freedom of speech and printing a column that is more than offensive. It was my job to decide if the column should be run. At the time, my impression of the article was that it made very direct accusations. However, at the same time, I believe strongly in freedom of speech and being able to say what you truly feel. However, I failed to edit the story for its derogatory remarks. I belive a point can be made without using certain words that were chosen.I personally am apologizing for letting the article go to print as written. Working on the **Name of paper** staff is a learning experience for all of us. My staff doesn't only put out a paper each week, they learn how to design pages, how to make things look better, what makes a good article and what can be printed." (Written by Editor)

Reaction from a student to Apologies:

" I think M was too harsh on you, overreacted, and missed the big picture. Even though I may not like it, I fully acknowledge that hicks exist in State XYZ, but that doesn't mean everyone living in State XYZ is a hick. M, if you don't think R or anyone else couldn't find a couple of black people in the United States who are detriments to society, you are simply in denial, as I would be if I tried to claim no one in State XYZ was a hick. In saying this, I am in no way trying to declare that all black people are that way. If you missed the point made by R's comparison, here it is: no matter how people are discriminated (by race, sex, creed or national origin) it's hurtful and disrespectful. My "XYZ-ness" can be disrespected the same as your "Blackness." (Written by a Senior)

I beg for your indulgence once more because I had to paste this reply in its fullness.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." This quote by Mahatma Gandhi is pretty self explanatory: practice what you preach.In reference to the letter to the editor by M, before you criticize one for being a racist or ignorant, take a look at your own actions. I looked up your Facebook profile and found it littered with the very language you criticize. Using racial slurs like "nigga" are not only disrespectful to the people who fought against that, it makes you look more ignorant than the person you wrote your letter to the editor about. How would Rosa Parks feel about that? In regards to your "there's no 'if', you just said it" argument, there IS an 'if.' This makes it a hypothetical situation as you stated. An educated person should be able to recognize this situation as an extreme example towards the argument at hand: that stereotypes are ignorant. Had the sentence been, "I told him that I think all black people are worthless piles of crap who do nothing but commit crime," you would have been justified in your argument. As for writing professionally, next time you want to seem credible in your letter to the editor, don't include a personal ad. Being educated, intelligent, tall, dark and handsome has nothing to do with your argument.
Moving on to V's letter to the editor. She has a false analogies argument, in which she states that racism has nothing to do with making fun of where someone grew up. This can be answered in one sentence: "We don't tolerate racism, so why is OK to make fun of XYZs?" Here is where the previous examples in the article tie in. It's not about race, as most people have viewed it. Rather, it is about prejudice. In case you don't know, prejudice is the unjustified bias against someone based on his or her race, culture or region. As for the editors of the **Name of Paper**, apparently you hadn't found the comment derogatory until someone else made a fit about it. If you are going to print a column, you should stand by the author of that article. The words not only reflect on the author, but on your own opinions as the editors. I feel that your spineless actions have not only sided with the R-bashing, but have also made you look as if R is a little kid who cursed and you have to apologize for it because she doesn't know any better. Why do you feel that you would have to explain the situation when R has already addressed it with a follow up column? By apologizing, you make it appear that you have something to apologize about-- which you don't. If anyone had actually read the article and taken it for the message it was trying to convey, nobody would have any reason to be mad ... except for maybe that guy from Seattle." (Written by a Sophomore)

You be the judge of this mountain out of a mole-hill situation.

Dissension in the ranks

Funny thing happened to me yesterday. I was attending our Black Student Alliance meeting in my usual capacity of an officer. The meeting was short and sweet due to the weather and so we all ended up chit chatting after official business got dealt with. A previous conversation emerged from our chat. The vice president was remarking about the fact that I didn't write a letter to the college rag/newspaper and disappointing the group as a whole. Maybe I should start from the beginning.

A few weeks back in the opinion page at school a university student's views were met with anger especially from the minority black students. She had written that people view residents from the midwest/heartland of America as being dumb, slow not to mention uninformed. She made an analogy in her piece. She said this view is almost comparable to someone saying that black people are lazy people who love handouts. Distasteful as the analogy was, it was an analogy nonetheless. Needless to say the black students in the school reacted when they saw the piece in the Rag. When approached I said I didn't think the girl was wrong . Why? She was being a writer and not to mention the fact that her piece was published in an opinion page of a university paper. She tackled the piece like she was having a one on one conversation with a friend. She was in no means a professional and articulate writer. Her piece was filled with kinda and gonna to illustrate my judgement. So why would you attack the girl on those grounds?

I took a stand. I said the people who should be held accountable should be the editors of the paper. They are the ones who proof read the pieces submitted before they hit the press. It is therefore their task and duty to make sure that articles published in the papers met journalism standards. I am sorry but I thought they were overeacting to something that was due to someone's laxity in the duties. They were crucifying the wrong person and I wasn't going to join in holding her legs as they hammered the nail home.

A young lady in the room taking interviews from the outspoken blacks slid next to me and the VP. She asked me if I would be like to air my views on the school TV channel. I said NO. I didn't think I needed to present a different view to a united front. I didn't think I needed to spotlight dissension in the minority group. I would keep my opinions about their oversight solely to our circle. I will win them over with my aptitude for social justice. Racism is a touchy subject especially in US. It is said that discrimination is on the downswing but in reality it is just being whispered between knowns and rarely aired. I choose to also whisper mine between knowns and not air ours.

Children

A child is a precious thing. A child vies for your attention, seeks your guidance and is blessed with the sweet innocence we all envy. Looking back in your childhood there are many occasions you recall; the first present you got, your mom hugging you for the tiniest things you did, your dad's heartfelt advice after a stern telling off! Do our parents shape our understanding of life and ultimately the character of self we portray to the world?

During one of my readings I came across an article that highlighted that genes might be behind the personalities we exhibit. Dr Weis and his colleagues discovered, in one of the longest and most thorough studies of child development ever attempted, was that parents appear to have relatively little effect on how children turn out, once genetic influences are accounted for. "The original objective was to look for environmental differences," says Reiss. "We didn't find many." Instead, it seems that genetic influences are largely responsible for how "adjusted" kids are: how well they do in school, how they get along with their peers, whether they engage in dangerous or delinquent behavior.

Apparently your DNA codes for a unique nervous system that responds to particular situations differently. As children we pick and choose the one that best suits our geriotype. Anyway long story short our genes provide the words and parenting provides the punctuation, inflection, tone and emphasis. Surrounding your child's environment with books when he seems predisposed to reading is a conversation between environment and genes. The parent then acts in the capacity of collaborator.

This is interesting to me because I think the youth have much impact in society and if we start them off on a good footing then we are better off as a society.

Tribute to my father

Abo I have much to say to you. Last time I saw you tears were streaming down that weather-beaten, kind face of yours. You asked for my forgiveness and told me to take care of everyone. I didn't understand why you were leaving me. I didn't understand what I did to make you run. All I knew was that I was alone in this world.

Since then I shut you out of my life. When you made contact I refused to feel again. I fought with the whys and what ifs. I had to be strong when the others were around, but all alone in my bed I cried myself to sleep. I hated you and I never wanted to see you again. I blamed you everytime hooyo screamed at the children and I cussed at the world for being cruel. Why me? Why them? Why her? Why us?

Now I have come to understand that your deeds were for your survival. If you hadn't left I am told that you would have died. I pray that you are well. I pray that you found peace wherever you might be. I also pray that you know deep in your heart that we all still love you. You are our father and our rock. When I fell, you were there to pick me up and send me on my way with whispers of encouragement. You have equipped me well for this life and for that I want to thank you. I want you to know that I will take care of the family as much as I can. I will take your place at the hilt of this ship and steer it to calmer seas. All I want is for time to rewind and for me to take back the hurtful things I said to you. I want time to rewind for me to wipe the tears off your face and send you off with a kiss and a hug. Alas I can't and all I am left with is regrets. Be well my darling father and rest easy for your daughter is right back where she belongs;by your side.

No more Mr NiceGuy

I am sick and tired of this mentality I have. No more I want it gone from me at once. Can someone perform an exorcism??

I am too nice to people I let them walk all over me and 9/10 the people tend to be nice back. But that 1/10 get my blood boiling enough to make me want to blow my top. I would caution you to step back because it might not be pretty to watch.

**Breathing in and out slowly............chanting B calm find your center**

Ok I feel better now. I have being unwell for the past three days and have basically thought of others before me. I kept my viral infected self out of healthy people's way. A lot of good that did me. My roomate decides to go into a mood swing for the past two weeks!!! Two weeks? Are you Fing kidding me. What kinda hormones does your flipping body produce. Anyway she won't talk to me for some reason or rather. I tried to garner what pissed her off but she chooses the silent treatment. I can't be bothered to milk it out of her I ain't her mommy she can brood in her cesspool by herself and I frankly don't care.

Everytime this happens I remember the things I did to help the person causing this precious loss of energy to be dispensed from my body. I helped this girl to the point she cried on my shoulder literally and slobbered and left reminants of snot all over my jammies. SERIOUSLY .........I lent her my car to the point she bursted in my room in the early mornings demanding my car keys to ran her errands. Does she know that she is piling mileage on my dear baby? During Ramadhan I made her spinach samosa especially for her since she is a vegan and guess what next night she asked me where her samosas are? Do I resemble Aunt Jemima or something? What irks me the most is I thought I was helping a sister out and wankaxishode to tell her she is over stepping my kindness. NO MORE. I am taking a stand.

I noticed for most immigrants they have this ingrained in their character. The need to be kind and please people around them or maybe its the people I have met I don't care, its just there. These bloody North Americans don't understand that it is not an invitation to trample into our lives at their every whim. NO MORE. I am going to start saying NO. NO to helping your ass out when you are stranded in a street because for some reason or rather you pissed off the bus driver again. No to taking you to work because you couldn't get your lazy a$$ up at the correct time and yes I AM LOCKING my room...........darn it I need my SLEEP. I am already a chronic insomniac I don't need to lose those precious 50 mins of SLEEP.

Phew off course I probably won't stick to this new trait but whatthewho I am human :)

Detrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroit Basketball

Nuff said. Season high 6-0 wins. I have high hopes for my boys this year. Last time we lost the cup by mere inches but if this is how the season is shaping up, I say bring it on. Suns, Spurs and my next favourite team this year, the Cavaliers, have nothing on this team. Defense/Rebounds/Three pointers/On the paint points/ or as we like to call it Detroiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit basketball.

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Institution or Institutional Madness

Ever wonder what a shut out is? What it feels like?

We live in a society where we have shut outs. They are so intergrated into the system that we barely notice them let alone acknowledge them. I want to concentrate on one shut out. The one I wish to candidly speak about and is close to my heart is the shut out the smart people enforce and the ordinary live by. Case in point the famed SOL.

Its a website for nomads. The first thing you notice when you log into the site is the number of people signed on during the night hours. The other is the division of content.

1st Division:- We have the Camel Milk Debate. Its subtext boasts of intellectually social debates. Make no mistake you enter this section at your own risk. The members who post here speak of evolution, natural progression, nationalism, world politics, ethics etc. The range of topics is expansive but more to the point is the tone of voice in each piece. Personally and I have remarked this on occasions I feel like I am reading a dissertation. My mind tries to grasp what the person's point is but finally it gives up. Maybe I am just lazy or my brain is fatigued but I feel inferior when I venture into this section. I remember the first lesson I learned in English composition. Write for a range of audience, do not insult their intelligence yet inform them at the same time. Guess this rule goes out the window here.

2nd Division:- Here we have the women section. Why the separation? Are there somethings in this section that are not meant for the male eyes? Personally I believe that both sexes have a lot to share with each other. Segregation of a certain section of the website to female orientated subjects doesn't sit well with me. There are many things that we as Somalis hold as taboo and would not discuss in mixed company due to xayat reasons. Case in point FGM and virginity. A society is compromised of males, females, young, old, rich, poor ...........thus shouldn't we all be given a chance to be heard in an equal setting if the end goal is information and education?

I am going to stop dissecting each section because I haven't got the time right now. I will wrap up my point by saying that SOL started out as a website that was a break from the childish talk. A place where one felt among their peers and would benefit from others leading overall to a better community . I am sad to say that for me SOL has not fulfilled this goal. I usually feel like there is a competition when you read the posts. People are so bent on sounding smart and knowledgeable that they leave a good number of us uninformed. By the time I sift through the superficial layers and looking up works and books of people, I have lost interest and track of the read. I close the page and go back to reading my books. It might seem that I might be daft or slow or intellectually challenged but I can hold my own in an argument, I just do it in a professional and undaunting way. I lull my subjects to a sense of equality. I bring them to my level of thought progressively almost like teaching a child to take their first steps. I let go of their hands and Lo and behold they take their first steps without assistance. The first steps into a society of forward progression and not of Instituitionalization.

I yield my pen to you

Welcome

Isn't he adorable? That is my new nephew and I am totally taken with him. Everytime my sister has a baby I get this ache in my stomach. I wish they were mine. I am not sure if it happens to every woman but I can't help it and always without fail I ask to adopt my nephews and niece. As clockwork she smiles and tells me to get my own.


I don't think thats fair. I am not the giving birth kind. How would I know you ask? Well because I have a low threshold for pain and I am a creature of comfort. If I couldn't fit in my clothes or tie my shoelaces I would probably tear my hair out. One look at this darling though makes me rethink my stance. I want to have a little one to call my own. One to nuzzle near my nose each time I feel the need to. I so want one .........they should sell them. Anyway I guess I should wait till I get someone to hoodwink me into having a bundle of joy for myself. Till then I will continue to ask my sister for her kids.

I love you my little one and you stole my heart the instance you opened your eyes.

Sitting on the Couch

The spotlight is on the lady with the huge turban on her head. My mom explains that is the new African head-dress. The lady in question is the Assistant Minister of Culture or something or rather of the newly formed government of Somalia. I watch with my mom and my cousin as the ministers and officials get on stage one by one to speak their piece. My heart is silently hoping that this is a turn for the future.

"There he is!" exclaims my mom, "There is abti Abdillahi Yussuf." She is proud as she also points herself out to me. She goes on a tangent as she points out each member of the cabinet and their clan affiliations. She was proving to my cousin that there was representation of most clans in the new government. As I sit on the couch I feel proud of the people on stage. A silent prayer goes to them as they set out to correct the many wrongs we as a people/nation have committed unto ourselves. I am not sure where I lie on this spectrum but I know where my mother lies.

I wasn't brought up in Somalia nor were my parents big on giving me the identity of my "bloodline". When I moved to the West I got bombarded with questions of "Who are you?". My reply turned from saying I was a Somali to Sujui to finally saying curtly "I am human." I went through a change and understanding as to how the system works. Somalis were obsessed with clan lines and migrated with this disease to the west. I found that I didn't want any part in it and I used the line human to draw them into an argument. To make them state their case as to why my identity should affect the conversation at hand.

There are some people that are not sure where this new government is heading but I believe a journey begins with a step and this is a huge step in the direction of the future. The one thing, the only ingredient missing is the youth. "Hooyo, you should get the youth involved, have workshops or something."I said with a smile. She looked at me and nodded. For now I will live vicariously through my mom when it comes to Somali politics.

There was a woman whose child had grown and wanted to make a mark in the world. As he bid his mother goodbye she stated "Son, If you go to **insert a far town** or go to the ends of the earth I am still your mother. No matter where we migrated to our Motherland is still Somalia.

Running Game vs Throwing Game

Well Well this Sunday was interesting in the world of American Football. Vikings lost off course to Panthers, Giants won in memory of Wellington, Detroit lost but the most upsetting game for me was the the Eagles and the Broncos.

Philly was trying a new approach this season. Instead of the conventional running game that most football coaches utilize they decided to use a throwing game. They have won 4 out of the 7 games utilizing this theory but I would like to call into light that they have have a recorded 73 % on throwing the ball. I do believe that is a huge percentage to be leaning on to win a game. Hopefully they will change tactics for the next games and try running more. They can utilize westbrook and owens more.

College ball on the other hand I have no complaints about. Florida exceeded my expectations. I enjoyed the game throughly. The QB was comfortable, he wasn't blitzed and he threw perfectly. Kudos! Better luck next time Georgia. Till Next Time I feel like talking football HOoRah

POV

There was once a man who said, "I disapprove of what you say but, I will defend to death your right to say it." Strong statement isn't it?

Everyday we meet different people in life and each of them either regurgitate someone's opinion or have one of their own. These days its rare to find someone who has original opinions because of mass media and their influence so I would think that coming across an individual who actually possesses originality our hearts would skip a beat. Unfortunately I met people who would rather that everyone have a uniformity of thought.

As I sat and argued against this disillusionment, I thought to myself how misunderstood uniqueness is. If I play the devil's advocate I certainly will be prone to be shoved to the side and painted as a sore on society. A tear in the wall of conformist and an abhorrance to look at. If everyone thought and did the same thing we wouldn't have Graham Bell,Newton, Martin Luther King Jr. I mean come on these people thrived on their uniqueness and held on to it even though at times they were faced with adversity.

So here is to you Ngonge..........to your misunderstood genius and your corky thought processes. I applaud your uniqueness and am glad of your existence because you go against the grain of normalcy. Cheers Mate!

Da Vinci Code

This past week I decided to pick up the audio book form of The Da Vinci Code. Needless to say that I was curious what the huge hoopla was about this fictional work. As I lay in my bed each night before I feel asleep and listened to the reader go through chapter after chapter I begun to think of consipiracy theorist. We all know them and have heard everything from the assasination of JFK to the recent 9/11. I have never heard the theory of the holy grail before.

Listening as Dan Brown exponded on the theory I double checked his "facts". I went online and pulled up the last supper painting, virgin on the rocks and madonna on the rocks. I noted the things that were mentioned in the book and all I can say is I am intrigued. I always thought that religion was too organized for my liking. Yes, we humans are in need or structure and direction but I also believe spirituality is a personal and unique route. Kinda like different strokes for different people. I am also predisposed to believe anything contrary to the belief of Jesus as the son of God, so that could also play a part in my nodding my head in agreement as opposed to shaking it vehemently and admonishing such a mockery of gospel of Jesus Christ.

Anyway for now suffice it to say I will do a little bit of research on the freemasons and priory of scion. Will update if I find something of interest.

Venom

You ever met a man hater? A woman who thinks all men are dogs and should therefore be neutered. I have a friend like that and I love her to bits. You might think that perhaps she has being wronged by men before and thus is why she hates them. I would agree with you but she wouldn't. The mother in me wants to hug her and tell her everything is going to be fine. That she doesn't need a man in her life to complete herself, but the woman in me shakes her head and wants to shake sense back into her. She does need that man and that man needs her.
This weekend she met a man. He is the sweetest young man ever. Fine as hell and funny, smart, down to earth and most importantly he is of her kind. Now now don't jump down my throat. Its true I said her kind because whether you like to admit it or not her kind is what she needs right now. She has being singing and humming and sleeping in.Sleeping IN! she never does that. She comes in my room at five in the morning to pull the sheets off my bed and get me up. I was thankful for him and if I were a Christian I would get on my knees and thank the Lord. Now its the end of the weekend and her angel is leaving. Its bad enough that it is happening but what is worse but she finds out that perhaps he is not completely trustable. He has a past and perhaps a present. Her instincts are coming back. She wants to lash out at the whole entire male species. For now I calmed her down but I don't know how long I can hold my thumb to the leak in the dam.

I do

What is it about a marriage that strikes a fear in our hearts? Some people would say it is the loss of freedom, others on the other hand would say it’s the finality of it all. Regardless of what reasons drive us in the opposite direction from marriage we all ultimately get married. Men I think do it so that they can leave a legacy behind; women on the other hand do it because of the companionship though I think they also do it because they want to have someone to mother i.e. a baby.

I think its time to throw my two cents in the ring (pardon the pun). Marriage I think for me as Susan Sarandon put it so nicely is the need for all humans to have a witness to their life. Not all humans are destined for greatness; most of us will never leave a mark in the history books. We need someone to know what our life was like. To have someone to share moments of silence, epiphany, joy, sadness and pain with. I think that’s a great reason to get married and it might also be the root of the vows; through sickness and health, poverty and wealth, thick and thin.

So I urge everyone to go find a person to witness your life and get married because it is a great gift to be a witness to a great life (Your life).

Seasons

My sister's birthday is tomorrow and I haven't yet thought what to get her for a present. Anyways I guess I will figure that out while I am having my car ride back home for the weekend.

I just felt like blogging about something coming next week. Its American Football season. I am so excited, not because of beer and chips, but because this time I might actually be able to catch most of the games since I allowed myself the luxury of having cable @ school. YEAH!!!!

I must admit I never liked football the first time I sat down to watch it. I thought it looked like rugby except these players had padding to protect them. After a while it grew on me because I was constantly surrounded by my uncles and cousins on Sunday evening at grandma's house watching the game. They would cuss when somebody fumbled the ball and scream with glee when a touchdown occurred. Even my aunt was into it and so I started paying attention to the rules of the game. By the end of the season I was comfortable with the American football terminology and I could converse about a game without appearing like a blonde haired girl.

Now I have seasons of weather as well as sports. I watch NBA, NFL and off course my first LOVE I watch English League. This year is the world cup and I would so love to be in Germany to watch it but imagine my disdain that a ticket cost about 1.5 K. For that much I could just comfortably take my long planned euro trip. So I guess I am doomed to watching the World Cup on TV.

Watch this spot for my once in a while predictions.

Fire in my Bosom

You have to agree with me that there is a time for everything. Taking that into account I decided that I will take this opportunity to share with you emotions and thoughts that coursed through me as I sat and watched a movie. Now granted that I already painted myself into a corner by making you think I am going to give you "female anecdotes" but I beg your indulgence just this once.

The movie I decided to watch was "The motorcycle diaries". In retrospect I think I should have used my time up wisely by reading the book but erm.......I already have four books sitting by my bedside vying for my attention as it is. Apologies for I digress. Let me give you a slight synopsis about the movie. Just as the title states the movie is about someone's thoughts as they rode a motorcycle (or at least to me it did). The characters in the movie was Che Guevera and his buddy. They had decided that they were going to ride a motorcycle from Bueno Aires to Venezuela to celebrate his buddy's 30th birthday. As they journey they see their continent in a different light. I didn't think the movie did catapult me in much thought at the beginning till I saw that as the two went further inland they were met with much destitution and injustice.

As I cradled my bottle water and plumped my body pillow I started a compare and contrast game. Granted life for much of us these days is reminiscent of an ostrich with his head stuck in the sand, I think, and you are welcome to your own opinion, that we still have some human blood left in us. Idealism might have being slowly siphoned out of our bodies but somewhere in the recess of our minds still burns the revolutionary fires. Being from Africa I thought of the millions of people there with no basic human amenities (Food, Shelter and Clothing). Maybe two of the three is met but more often than not most have one. Che rode through the countryside and listened to stories of injustice and some he witnessed. He helped out at a leprosy clinic and through it all he stuck to his ideals. He wouldn't lie to a person and I think this most of all kept him true to himself and reflectively true to others.

I would like to have his courage because when he could have being a doctor he decided to start the Cuban revolution. He swum across a river that he felt separated the sick from the healthy just to he could spend his birthday with what he had begun to regard as his patients. In this day of age, the 21st century as we have come to know it, is there one among us that would attempt such a feat. I would be the first to say No, I can't. The one thing I hope I could and with God's help will do is get my degree and go back home to where I am needed and start fixing humanity in my own way. For now Che has awoken the fires in my mind and spirit and I had to share it with someone.

yikes!

Devil Within

I woke up this morning with strained back.Not even turning on the lights, I shuffled my feet towards the bathroom and nearly tripped on something lying on the floor. I stopped short and tried to think what it could be. I shook my head side to side trying to dislodge a memory about last night. That didn't work. I bent down with great agony to my back and felt for my obstacle. It was certainly long and there was a cloth covering on it. I felt my way to the end of it and it was bulb shaped with a coarse feel to it. Working my way to the opposite end I felt two stumps with protusions on the end. Flashback of me fighting with my boyfriend last night after I came back from a night out with the girls. I staggered back as I slowly realized the obstacle infront me felt and was shaped like a human being. What happened? I shut my eyes tight and willed it to go away, willed my sanity back. How could this happen? I am not violent, infact I was plain cowardly when it came to violence. I tried to lift my hands to my eyes so as to rub the sleep from my eyes but they were stuck to the side of my body. I jerked them loose and examined them in the dim light. What were those crusted up objects on my fingers? I looked closely at one which was peeling and the color of my fingertips were RED..........RED. Oh My God I had killed my boyfriend. I let out a horrific yelp and cowered in the corner. What to do? What to do? Call the police.No! I would be sentenced to death. Ok then what? Call Cecelia and figure out something? No! She was a blabbermouth she would end up telling the tabloids I killed my boyfriend. What if I buried him where no one would ever look? The ocean was right infront of our house. The salt of the ocean would accelerate the decomposition of the body and the fishes would eventually finish what else was left of the body before someone would discover the remains. It would be a perfect plan. I gulped loudly as it finally sunk in that my life had changed. Yesterday I was a 4.0 GPA holding senior at the university and now I was planning to coverup the murder of my boyfriend. A murder I had committed. I steeled myself and got up and stood over the body. I bent down to grab the feet and then as I pulled at them they came off. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I had cut him up in pieces. I felt woozy and nauseous. What had I become? An animal..........Suddenly light flooded the room from the hallway. Someone had opened the door and was standing in the doorway. I was temporarily blinded and shut my eyes. I knew I had being found out. I was going to jail and I was going to be some other woman's bitch. No.........I wasn't going without a fight. I got up and ran towards the figure in the doorway and tried to tackle it. I felt arms around me holding me close and a soft timbre voice saying "Whats wrong baby?" I was going crazy he sounded like my dead boyfriend. I looked up and looked into the eyes of my beloved one. I nearly crumpled to the ground. Now I had lost my mind I was seeing his ghost. Still holding me close he reached out and flipped the light switch. I willed myself to confirm that there was a dead body in the middle of the floor. I looked and I saw the dummy I had brought home a week ago to practice CPR on. I laughed and cried with relief as I clutched my boyfriend close.

Strip

" You are so crazy!" I exclaimed uproariously to my friends. Kamar, Kay and I were fighting our way through the bustling mob at the Dayton's thirteen hour sale. We really didn't need any more clothes in our closet but at that moment we didn't particularly care about that detail. Swinging around so as to maintain our conversation I bumped into someone who shoved me backwards. Biting back my retort I faced my assailant. It was a short petite girl with cropped hair and a scowl to boot. She was wearing a mall security uniform and I guess this was a reason her chest was puffed out in an authoritative stance. Not wanting to cause a scene I side stepped her with my friends close by. Each step I took in a different direction this pesky girl kept standing in my path. Finally I curtly asked her if I could get on with my shopping without paying troll tax. My friends gleeful laugh was loud and I had hoped had passed her the message that I wasn't here alone.

" I would like you to come with me to the security office, MAAM," she said while expanding her chest more than I thought possible for a person of such short stature. Rolling my eyes I followed her to the corner of the store. She ushered me in a room and raising her hands she stopped my friends from coming in behind me. With my hands crossed in front of me I glared at her demanding to know why I was being bothered while I was shopping. Smiling vaguely she asked me to empty my hand bag. Wanting to prove her wrong I did what she asked. Imagine my surprise when out of my bag popped out two ornament pins I was eyeing earlier in the store. Stammering and stuttering I tried to explain that I wasn't a thief and didn't know how the items got into my bag, how I would pay for the items just to make this incident disappear while the short girl just looked at me with steel in her eyes.

"Strip!" she demanded. I was shell shocked. What did she mean strip? was she serious. Her hands akimbo she beckoned with her head that she was waiting. Not sure if this will prove my innocence but eager to leave the store at any cost, I pulled at my sleeves. The girl was staring at me with interest. I couldn't help feeling my skin crawl. Down to nothing but my skivvies I held up my hands in mock surrender. " Take off the bra and the panties too." she uttered unbelievingly. Looking at her like she just sprouted another head on her shoulder I questioned if I heard her request right. This little woman was expecting me to stand before her naked!!! I had tolerated this charade long enough, pushing her aside I walked out of the room. My friends gawked at me as I furiously said I was never going to shop at this store ever again. I had walked halfway through the shoe department when I realized that I was walking around the store in my underwear. Holding my head high I walked right out the store and ducked into the mall bathroom next door. I was forever mortified!